Love Your Haters…?
Why in the world would you want to do that?
- No one will be as brutally honest as they will be.
- It keeps you grounded
- It challenges you
- It makes being successful feel so much better
- And SOMETIMES (but rarely) they make a good point.
The following is from Jaret Grossman and his blog.
Listen or read below.
You’re trying to shake up the world.
You’re trying to produce shock waves!
You’re trying to leave your mark and do something that either hasn’t been done before or you are trying to do something that others find unrealistic or have failed doing. Of course, you are going to have haters, you are going to have people who hate you.
Most of these people who come out and are verbal with their hatred towards you, really want to be heard based on a feeling of lack of self-worth within. That their not the ones doing it. They don’t know how to express themselves in the right way. They don’t know how to get rid of that anger inside, that frustration and they just need to focus their energy on themselves and they just don’t do that, they just focus on the external.
So, many of these people who “hate” you, you are creating such a strong, polarizing reaction within them, that they feel insecure, that you are exposing vulnerabilities within themselves and you dislike them. A lot of it is because they are speaking out to vulnerabilities, they are speaking out to weaknesses, flaws within you that you need to work on. You know you need to work on them, but you have neglected it for so long.
Let’s say you are doing something and people are trying to bring you down. Of course, it doesn’t feel great at the time, especially in the beginning. It feels horrible; like people aren’t respecting what you are doing. It’s more about what’s going on inside them than it has anything to do with what you are doing.
That’s what you need to understand!
At the end of the day, it’s exposure and you may think that it’s this negative thing. That means you are doing something right. You are going to be disliked if you put yourself out there. If you take action and have the guts to put yourself out there, it’s only because you are putting yourself out there to be criticized, to be judged.
You want the positive, just the positive and that’s not the way that the world works! With good comes evil, with positive comes negative. If you are going to have fans, you are going to be disliked as well. You are not going to be liked by everybody. Do you think that Micheal Jordan was a crystal staircase going up? He had a lot of haters. He had a lot of people telling him that he can’t do it.
You can use that as fuel or you let it tear you down inside. All you need to do is focus on YOUR WHY, focus on YOUR PURPOSE. Focus on why you are doing it. Take less emphasis off the external; off of being “liked”.
Love your haters, just like you love your fans!
Of course, it is easy to love your fans because their values are aligned with yours. Their thought process is aligned with yours. It really hard, really hard to love people who don’t like you. But what you better, if you only love people who love you in return? What makes you this great person if that is the case? That’s easy…It’s so easy to love those who love you; it’s really hard to love those who “hate” you.
To understand that they are going through things, they have their own problems and that’s why they come lash out on you. They are focused more on other people’s live than they are their own. That’s their problem! Why are you going to let that eat you up inside?
I want you to say this; “I accept that I am not going to be liked by everyone! I accept that the more I put myself out there, the more I have the opportunity to be judged, to be liked upon differently, to be criticized and that’s how it is.”
However, if you want to achieve something, you want to accomplish something, you have to have an expectation that you are not going to be liked by everyone. You are going to create a strong polarizing reaction in people.
Love your haters, like you love your fans! Love them!
Because at the end of the day, you are still relevant, being talked about. Otherwise they would just be indifferent, they wouldn’t care, they wouldn’t give a damn. You are doing something right, keep on doing it!
Steve Jobs was not liked by many people, he was ousted out of his own company. You are not going to be liked by everyone, especially if you are trying to shake up the world, you have new ideas, you have a vision.
Lebron James has tough time wrapping his head around this; all Lebron wants is to be liked. He wants to be the best basketball player ever and to be liked. These are opposing forces!
You need to discover your why. What you really want; your main goal! You goal is not to be loved and liked by all in society. You will fail in that goal! Because everyone has a different interpretation of how they view the world, they have their own interpretation. They have their own reality, based on their own experiences, based on what they learned, based on what they went through, what they are going through internally.
So, one people might find what you are doing funny, while another people might find it to be serious. While another person might find what you are doing empowering or inspirational. You have a different set of reaction from a different set of people, every group of people.
Your goal is not to be liked by everyone. Your goals is not to get the same reaction out of everyone. Your goal needs to be your why behind why you are doing it. That’s all you need to focus on; your purpose.
Something is moving through you, your heart is moving you somewhere and you need to go with this. You need to go with this feeling, because you are endowed with something and you need to give it, you need to produce it, you need to put it out in society for other people to share this experience with you.
If it lives up in your head and these thoughts live up in your mind then you are no different than someone who doesn’t think of it at all. You actually need to put it out there. There is an extra step that you have to take from actually thinking about it in your mind to actually putting out there in the universe. That’s because, you have bad thoughts in your mind too, so there’s an internal check for those bad thoughts. But that is also the free will that you need to go out there and do stuff with the good thoughts that come into your head.
You are endowed with something and you need to do it and your goal cannot be to do it for a reaction out of somebody else. You need to do it because that’s what is in your heard and that’s why you are doing it.
Let the people speak, let them do whatever they want want to do. They just want to be heard.
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